Christmas Choices
by Kaysin-12
Summary: As the JLA celebrate Christmas, one member holds back from the festivities. Prefering to tend to the conflicting emotions within himself. Dedicated to Alex Ross. Mild language, not a yaoi, bitter sweet friendship story.


Author's note: This was inspired by an Alex Ross painting. It depicts the JLA members decorating a Christmas tree, laughing, downing Eggnog, you know. The usual holiday business. Out of all of them, Superman is the only one to notice Batman lurking outside the window, most likely ankle deep in snow, and gestures for him to join them.  
There was something about Superman's expression, almost like he was asking, "What's wrong? You don't have to stay out there"  
There was also something about Batman, though only one third of his face can be seen, you get the impression that he's not going to accept. Just slip back away, back to Gotham with no explanation given. It was both sad and sweet, and I just had to explore the possibilities.

The window frames events burned into the American subconscious. A family celebrating Christmas, but quite an unusual family. In one corner an Amazonian Princess laughs, as the fastest man on Earth shares stories of his childrens' latest antics. In the corner opposite, two winged alien cops explore the tradition of mistletoe. To their far left, a Martian offers a modern day Robin Hood Eggnog.  
Who do you get to paint such a scene, Norman Rockwell or Salvador Dolli?  
Mercy please, Clark's been given the honor of putting the star on the tree. The cynical part of me wants to vomit but some small, neglected, part wants to smile despite myself. Head of the team, head of the family... I guess it's fitting.  
He must have detected my heartbeat, for he looks up and our eyes meet. Surprise animates his blue eyes but it quickly becomes a questioning look, as he extends his hand in welcome.  
I can't. I can't accept and I can't answer a question that I don't understand myself. Why am I standing out here? I've known and worked with these people for years, I honestly trust them. Hell, I'll even admit to loving some of them... Never out loud of course, but that's beside the point.  
Happy Clark? I'm stumped. You're so fond of calling me 'the world's greatest detective' but I can't solve the greatest mystery of all, my own emotions. What fuels my vendetta after avenging my parents a hundred times over? What drives me to surpass every human limitation but insist on hiding my accomplishments? What's keeping me out here, freezing my ass off, when twisting one doorknob would see me warm and enjoying the company of friends?  
I turn quickly, my cape flourishing behind me. As I begin my trek back to my jet, I wonder, why was Clark using a ladder? The man can hover for God's sake.  
"Bruce"  
Damn. "Go back in Clark. Your suit isn't thermal treated." I growl over my shoulder. He knows I won't stop walking of my own accord, so he whirls me around by my shoulders. The gently yet firm way he grips my forearms, the concern in his eyes. The kind of look Alfred, Leslie and the boys give me whenever I pull an entire week without sleeping. Damn it! I never should have let us become so close. I'm friends with Superman, and for the life of me I can't recall exactly when our relationship shifted from mere colleges to this.  
"I'm not going back without you"  
Resisting the urge to roll my eyes is the hardest thing I've every done. "I'm going back to Gotham"  
"To what? An empty manor. I over heard you telling Diana that you gave Alfred the night off to spend with Maggie, Dick's with one of his girlfriends and Tim's"  
He falters, expression suddenly apologetic. I try to keep the pain from showing in my tone as I finish the sentence for him, "Tim's with his father tonight." It came out as a whisper, so much for my reputation as an actor. I loath myself for being jealous, Tim should be with his real father tonight.  
"What about Oracle"  
He's fishing for retribution now. Trying to find a member of my patchwork clan that I might latch onto. I sigh and shake my head. I've never liked being rescued, least of all by 'The Man of Steel'. "The Gordon family may be my allies, but having the Batman over for Christmas dinner would be too awkward for words"  
"Dr. Tompkins"  
"Leslie runs a soup kitchen though out winter. Couple that with her clinic and Toys for Tots"  
"Okay, she's a no-go, I get the picture." he waves his arms in defeat, then suddenly grips my arms again. As though I might bolt for my jet hidden in the nearby woods. Clark's face becomes totally serious, "If you're not lonely why did you come here tonight"  
Stubborn bastard. I grit my teeth and growl the truth at him. "I don't know. I got in my jet, flew all the way here, walked up to the window and just froze"  
He frowns "It's not a weakness to crave company Bruce"  
I blink and feel my mouth drop open. Before I can recover my dignity Clark pushes his advantage "Everyone would love to see you, no one will judge you. Well, Oliver may rib you a bit, but when does he not? Come on Bruce, it's Christmas for God's sake"  
"If I'm remembering my Sunday schooling correctly, Christmas was for humanity's sake." Dick and Tim must be rubbing off on me after all these years.  
"Of all the nights for you to decide to be a smart-alec." Clark sighs, but there's a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I'll never understand you Bruce, but I respect you enough to let you go. Just do me one favor, wait here a moment while I run back to the tree"  
"Kal," I use his Kryptonian name to empathize my irritation.  
"Just a moment." He pleads like a teenager wanting to borrow the family car. I sigh and relent.  
It takes a moment for me to realize he's left, he's back so quickly it's as if the gift materialized in his broad hands. I reluctantly take the package and read the card.

TO: (Bat Symbol)  
FROM: (Green Lantern Symbol, Wonderwoman Symbol, Superman Symbol, etc)

I arch an eyebrow "You let Wally do the cards." Clark shrugs and laughs a little in response.  
"Thanks." I grunt, gesturing at the present, feeling slightly guilty that I didn't foresee this situation and have gifts to give in return. Rich people have no right doing things like that. It made me feel like Scrooge, pre celestrial visitors.  
As I turn to go, figuring I'm free now, Clark grips my shoulder once again. "You can always change your mind, you're always welcome Bruce. Please remember that"  
He gives my arm one last brotherly squeeze and in a swirl of snow, finally returns to the party.  
Alone once more, with no one to blame but myself, I look down at the gift and the snow blowing about my boots. I stand there a while longer, despite all logic and scientific reasoning, I feel warmer. I take a deep breath, and choose the only option I can. I start walking.

Author's note: Decide for yourself, does he go back to Gotham, or join the party? Ether way, love and prosperity to everyone, not just today, but every day.  
Kaysin-12 


End file.
